When I look back, it’s astounding to see how many times I looked for answers, love and truth outside of myself.
Cultish spiritual groups, hyped-up business coaches and guru-like boyfriends gave me the illusion of security and confidence. But inside, I kept feeling fragile, not really knowing where to stand in myself.
Working with my Human Design changed that big time, but it didn’t happen overnight.
I met Human Design in 2017 and adored it.
I drank in the knowledge with insatiably big gulps.
Learning HD came easy to me, but living it was hard.
As someone with a defined emotional center, I started by allowing myself to be slow in a fast world.
As a Manifesting Generator, I started listening to my gut. I let go of some of the mental pushing, the ‘shoulds’ and my ideas about what a perfect life had to look like. It was hard. It was challenging to realize how much of my life was reigned by my mind – even though I thought I was a fairly free being.
The deconditioning happened in layers, and one of the hardest places to decondition was in my business.
My social media feed was bursting with people who were ready to tell me how I should do my business, and many of those ideas had nestled themselves in my undefined Head.
Also, I unconsciously thought that business success could salvage my low self-worth.
But the tide has turned. Over the past 6 years of experimenting with my human design, almost all of my ideas about what a business (and marketing! and life!) should look like have collapsed.
And the result is much more beautiful than my mind could have ever thought.
The pushing has gone. I’m much more relaxed in my business and life
I don’t have big plans or strategies anymore, neither do I have any to-do lists.
I’ve turned from a “helicopter business parent” into someone who is simply curious what will happen next, and what I will respond to. And the same goes for the rest of my life.
It’s definitely scary for the mind, but oh so freeing!
There’s so much talk about knowing yourself, but I feel there’s to little talk about feeling yourself.
The practical tools of Human Design allowed me to come into contact with my frequency, with my inner song. And I learned that my inner song is a much more effective agent of transformation than my mind could ever be.
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5/2 Emotional Manifesting Generator
